Celebrating Winter Solstice

Traditions that Resonate

Even before we had children, I really wanted to figure out what this time of year and the holiday(s) around it would look like for us as a family. When we had our first child, that desire intensified. I had thought we would need to figure it out really soon, but it was always hard to prioritize that amidst the holiday frenzy with family visits, potlucks, etc.

One of the first ways we began to branch away from tradition that didn’t resonate but to continue the parts that do is with our stockings. My grandmother had made all of her grandchildren stockings, and my brothers, cousins, and I all still have them. They are like a piece of her left behind for us to remember her gentle, crafty hands. So I sewed stockings for my husband and son to continue her legacy (even though I am very inept with sewing by comparison!), and we hang them up leading up to Christmas, but we as a family fill them up ourselves. This feels aligned for us because we are teaching our child that Santa (or Father Christmas) is a spirit of giving that can actually come and visit any of us; and when that happens, we might find ourselves feeling inspired to give something to each other. That’s what these stockings are for: to share this spirit of generosity with one another, and we hope that in the future it might be more homemade creative pieces than store-bought items. I also think it’s exciting for a child to watch the stocking to slowly get bulkier and bulkier but to know that they ultimately need to wait. John-Michael has read some research about the developmental benefits of delayed gratification for children, so the stockings are a great opportunity for that.

Salt Dough Spiral

This year (2024) some pieces really began coming together. A friend who shares affinities around holidays in general came over with her son, and she introduced us to the salt dough spiral: a Waldorf craft that can be used as an advent to count down until Solstice or Christmas (or Channukah or New Years, or whatever count down makes sense to you). We created ours as an advent counting down until Solstice. It involves rolling out salt dough, and then laying it into a spiral pattern (see above), then using a candle end to stamp indents into the dough for as many days leading up until Solstice. The candle goes in the centre, and each day we would put a little piece of nature into the advent Solstice Spiral. This has helped us explain to our four year old how each day the ‘sun goes to bed earlier and earlier’, making the days shorter and shorter, until the shortest day of the year and the longest night of the year.

Our Advent Calendar

I believe advents at this time of year in the Northern Hemisphere are important because the longer and longer nights can start to feel oppressive - particularly as our day-to-day lives in the modern world don’t make the same space for stillness or slowness as may have happened in the past. We’re expected to keep going with our usual daily tasks without changing much to accommodate our changing daylight hours (in fact there’s pressure to do even more to keep up with the holidays)! A countdown in whatever form (whether it’s one from the store with chocolates inside counting down until Christmas, or a salt dough spiral) helps us attune to how many days until we finally get longer and longer days once more. This is in fact also one function of wreaths for this time of year: the circular reminder that this too shall pass; the shorter days will give way to longer days, and longer days will then give way to shorter days and so on.

For our advent: I like that this Solstice Spiral had us going out to get items from nature to fill in, getting us outside maybe more than we otherwise would have. And then we can reflect on how mild of a winter it was this year that we still had Calendula growing so close to Solstice. Each item invokes memories of the moment of collection: that time by the beach when I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the little tide-washed pebbles; or when we adventured near a long stretch of rosehips and I made the mental note to go harvest some.

In the future, I know one version of this spiral is to include candles lit for different intentions on each Sunday counting down until Solstice. For us, that may end up being Saturdays if our community decides to explore what community Shabbat looks like. What I’m realizing is this: whatever our holy days are, we can tailor our holidays to really meet our current needs in this modern world and in ways that reflect the cross-pollination we experience now. So while the Christian ways of celebrating don’t resonate as strongly for me now, the song I grew up singing in Church can still take root in my life, but rewritten with the mythology that resonates with me and that I can share with my child (what’s rewritten = red)

A Candle is Burning
(Tune: Away in the Manger)

A candle is burning, a flame warm and bright,
A candle of hope in December’s dark night,
While carollers sing blessings into the dark sky,
Our hearts we prepare now for Solstice is nigh.

A candle is burning, a candle of peace,
A candle to signal that conflict must cease.
For Solstice is coming to show us the way,
A message of peace for our shortest of days.

A candle is burning, a candle of joy,
A candle to greet others with laughter and noise,
Our hearts fill with wonder, and eyes light and glow,
As joy brightens winter like sunshine on snow.

A candle is burning, a candle of love,
A candle to point us to the skies up above,
The days, they grew short but they soon will bring mirth,
For Solstice will bring the sun back to our Earth.

This year we had made four mullein torches for each of these intentions, and it would be lovely to sing this song while lighting them. One mullein torch had mugwort, a herb of dreams for Hope, one torch had yarrow, a herb of protection for Peace, one torch had calendula for joy, and another one had roses for love. A fifth mullein torch had rosemary for remembering: re-membering our ancient traditions with the threads we’ve inherited in these modern times.

Iterative Improvements

Perhaps next year our Solstice spiral will include a candle for 4 particular days leading up to Solstice itself. And maybe not; it was lovely having a small step closer towards what feels right for our family. Other learnings for us: we had packed a lot of things to do on Solstice itself and next year we would like to keep the day much more quiet and still; light the candle at sundown and let it burn all night to ‘hold the light for us’, and be quiet but together in a candlelit home. When we’re cultivating new traditions, they can’t be purely from our minds before the need for them emerges in our lived reality. As our family gradually figures this out with intention and lightheartedness, we hope you too find yourselves cultivating traditions that delight not only your families but also your ancestors and future generations to come.

With warmth and light,